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Dark Lord Rob's DarkForce
The Dark Lord's Challenge
I don't know what made me reach out and take the remote control, the "Magic
Box", from the Dark Lord's outstretched hand, but I did it, to the
raised-eyebrow astonishment of Nathan, Shana, and Maggie.
    
"We have a player, Ladies and Gentlemen," said the Dark Lord in one of
those carnival pitchmen type of voices. "Don't be shy, young Sir, reach out
and press the button."
    
"Which button?" I asked. It was impossible to see any writing on the
remote in the darkened room, though I could see one large red button on the
upper left and another yellow one in the center, among many almost
invisible small black ones.
    
"Why, the upper left, of course. Left, the path least taken. This will make
all the difference."
    
I looked at Nathan. He shrugged, like, go ahead, why not, and the girls
looked impatient, so I shifted my thumb and pressed the button.
    
Immediately there was a flash of light as a television screen snapped to
life. The screen was huge, one of those half-a-wall and change numbers. I
was kind of surprised I hadn't noticed it when we came in, but then again,
that's how dark the room was. When the screen was fully lit, it cast
everyone in the room in an eerie glow, and threw the Dark Lord's features
into shadow as it illuminated him from behind.
    
"You weren't kidding about this TV business, were you?" Nathan said,
skeptically as always.
    
"TV or not TV. Was that a question?" He turned around and looked at the
screen. It was an episode of "Bewitched", I'm pretty sure. The guy ,
Dagwood, Darwin, whatever his name was, was sputtering about something.
There were toys flying about the room. It looked like "Poltergeist" only
you could see the wires. The blond woman was shrugging her shoulders, like,
"What can I do?"
    
"So this is the 'message'?" Shana asked. "A sitcom?"
    
"Life is the eternal sitcom. But no, this is but the default screen. There
is one more step. The big yellow button, Twonky. Do you see it?"
    
"How could I miss it? It's right in the center."
    
"That is a device of my own invention. I have on this system almost two
hundred seperate channels of modern television programming. Everything from
news to sports to weather to shopping, from cars crashing to sabers
slashing to monsters mashing. Any one of those channels could hold the
answer that we seek. And that button, ladies and gentlemen, is the key that
will open the portal; it's the gondola that will ferry us across the river
of Mystery.
    
He paused, and placed a cupped hand to his ear. When no one said anything,
he cleared his throat "Ahem!"
    
Nathan rolled his eyes. "What does the button do, then?"
    
The Dark Lord laughed. "It's a Randomizer! Pressing that button will take
us to a randomly chosen channel! Who knows where we'll go, who knows what
we'll see? All I can say is this: it will be your Destiny!"
    
I looked at him, then down at the remote, then back at him. Everyone was
waiting. There was a cool hushed anticipation in the room. Even though no
one believed in the Dark Lords spiel, we couldn't wait to see what would
happen next.
    
I hit the button.
Next: Destiny?
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